


Beyond the End

by stevegallacci



Category: Zootopia
Genre: Drug Abuse, Hospitalization, discussion of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-04-21 19:26:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14291787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevegallacci/pseuds/stevegallacci
Summary: In the story 'How It Ends', a version of Nick Wilde has been struggling to remain a police officer after the death by cancer of his beloved Judy. When faced with a desperate mass shooter situation, he sacrifices himself to draw out the shooter and end the slaughter, committing suicide by in the line of duty. Written about the ninth anniversary of my own Wife's death, it was an emotional outlet and gut-wrenching tale. But being the old sentimental fart that I am, here is a less final alternate ending for my favorite Fox.





	1. Chapter 1

Pain and confusion. An animal, an organism, struggling in pain and drugged stupor.

Then it clarified into Nick Wilde. Where was he? Why was he there? What had happened? It was a hospital room. And he was in an oversize bed, anchored with innumerable tubes and wires. And he hurt. Hurt badly. All over. Correction. He felt awful all over, but the real pain was in his lower right side. 

That's right. He had been shot. It was at the bakery. And the shooter. And how he came to be shot. 

Part of him wanted to cry. That he would have considered what he tried to do. And that he had failed. 

Suicide was something he otherwise would have never entertained. But in that moment, to save civilians from a drug-crazed shooter, and end his hollow life, it seemed the thing to do. 

But here he was. Still alive. He wondered what may have happened. His memory was just a scramble of fragments. Mammals being shot, his own helplessness. Then confronting the shooter, A Puma, wired on Juice? Did he really do that? He remembered a hammer blow to his body, but beyond that?

A Nurse came in the room, seemed happy to see him awake. 

Nick had to ask. "So how bad is it? Will I ever play the piano again?" He was surprised at how weak he sounded. Sure, he felt awful, but he could usually muster more than such a weak wheezing croak. At least his wits were up to speed.

She laughed. "Nothing like that. But you do have a nasty hole in you. Hit your liver, and kind of chewed you up in general. But nothing that won't heal in time."

"Oh poot. And here I was, thinking I was in heaven, with such an angelic vision before me." Or maybe he just needed to talk more, as his voice seemed to recover a bit.

The nurse, a rather unremarkable little Wombat, laughed all the harder. "I was warned you were a card, Mr. Wilde. A good sign after all you've been through." 

"Yeah, that's me." Said less jovially. Nick suddenly had a future, with repercussions, and didn't have a clue what to do next. 

The nurse showed him the bed controls and the call button. And the pain medication control. "You shouldn't need to worry about becoming an addict. It is a better tailored synthetic opioid with the pain managing without some of the side effects."

Nick tried the medication control, and was pleasantly surprised that he could feel the effect fairly quickly. He really did hurt. After the nurse left, he ran it up further. He was in no condition to lie there and fret about things, so sought drug-driven oblivion and was not disappointed.

He didn't really know how much time had passed, between proper sleep, the damage and pain was exhausting, and doped unconsciousness until the new Chief, Kamatti came to visit. Unlike the micro-managing Bogo, she spent her time administering to the whole of the ZPD, so Nick had rarely seen her and didn't really know her.

The matronly Lioness was unreadable as she sat down besides his bed. "So. Almost got away with it."

"Uhm?"

She scowled. "Saw you body cam and the security footage. You're not the first to try suicide by line-of-duty." 

Nick sighed. "And failed. But what happened? Did it help with the situation?" 

"You don't know?" The Lioness was sadly surprised. "The shooter put that into you while he was still in cover." Indicating his aching and heavily bandaged middle. "Then, when you didn't go down, he got angry and rose up for a better shot. SWAT got him a second before he would have finished you."

"Yay for them." Nick grumbled. 

"Wish you wouldn't talk like that." 

"I wouldn't be here, costing the city and likely going to cost the city more in the weeks, months, maybe years to come." Came out rather bitterly. 

"I suspect the city would consider the expense more than worth it. You are a hero once again."

Nick gave his superior a hard, direct look. "Tell that to the families of those who got shot before I acted." 

At that, the Lioness flinched.

"Uhuh. And they have every right to be upset. I should have done more sooner." 

"Uhmph! I've watched the whole thing a dozen times already, and can't see where you could have done any better. You would have only gotten shot earlier without drawing him out to be stopped. He had more than enough ammo on him to kill everyone in the place and every indication that was his plan."

"Yeah, what was all that about anyway? Just some spree killer?"

"No. It started out as a domestic. He got upset over something with his girlfriend." Chief Kamatti rubbed her muzzle. "He got the gun from the same fools who had been dealing Juice. He Juiced up there, shot them, then went and shot the girlfriend and her roommate. The shop was where she worked."

Nick shook his head. The one terrible fallout of the otherwise long gone Bellwether case, Juice and other organic or synthetic derivatives of the night howler serum. "So what now?"

"Well, the inquest won't need your testimony, plenty of cameras. There's a push to get to it right away, and you won't be in any shape to attend."

"And make sure I don't say something?"

"For your sake." She gave him a peeved look. "And it is more for the SWAT sniper's shooting hearing anyway." 

"Yeah." Nick didn't envy the mammal that had to pull the trigger on anyone, regardless of circumstance, and hoped he could take solace in that he had stopped a monster. 

"I suppose you heard that this time I won't be able to go back to duty. Too much damage this time."

"Not that I'd allow you back. You were marginal already, and attempted suicide doesn't help your profile."

"Marginal?" Nick faux pouted. "I'll have you know that I was entirely adequate, thank you." 

"Adequate?" Kamatti scowled. "Not for Officer Wilde. Worse, you've been testing in the lowest acceptable percentile for years now. Not to mention your general performance and procedures." She then gave him a more knowing look. "With one exception."

Nick was truly puzzled by that.

"We get feedback from the public you know. And would you be surprised to learn that you consistently get some of the best reports for public interaction in all of the ZPD?"

Nick scowled at that. "If that's true, then you've got a bigger problem than me. I've only done my job."

Chief Kamatti huffed. "That's not what a rather thick file on you says. And it is a lot more than your stock, its what Judy would want me to do." 

Nick snarled at that. "Don't ...!" And he turned away angrily. 

"Officer Wilde. When you were not indulging in your self-deprecating pity party, you were contributing more to make the world a better place than you ever realized." The Chief scolded in her best vexed mother tone. "Even Captain Post forwarded an appreciation just the other day."

"It was nothing." And seeing her about to object, he shouted, "It! Was! Nothing!" And immediately flinched in pain with the exertion.

"From what I'd been told by Bogo and others, that's been your standard deflection even before." She looked at him in sympathy. "You'd play the glory hound clown over the big bust, but when it was some little thing that showed some heart." A more firm stare. "You'd insist you were doing it only at Hopps' insistence, or later, in her memory."

Nick gave her a look of naked hate, but said nothing.

"As I figure it, all your life you've played roles. Savvy hustler, street-wise cop, cynical fox. And none of them dared showed any tenderness, anything that showed emotional vulnerability." 

The Chief's tone turned more tender. "But I bet Hopps saw the real you. And you'd slip on occasion. How you interact with kits, and all those little kind and conscientious things you do that you now deny."

Seeing that Nick was in no mood to talk, she got ready to leave. "Wilde, you haven't always been a good officer, but you've always been a good mammal, much better than you ever give yourself credit." 

Nick lay in quiet rage for some time, tears streaming at the same time. He then toggled his pain management delivery, knowing that he could max it and knock himself out, at least for the moment. 

Other well-wishers attempted to visit, but he demanded that he be left alone. Considering his still fragile state that was not entirely a bad idea. Moreover, he was quick to become agitated and verbally abusive, threatening his condition and those relationships with erstwhile friends.

But even that got boring, and he settled into the idle long wait that predators were apt to do. And keeping his pain maintenance cranked up made zoning out all the easier. 

Another day and another Doctor entered the room. A Rabbit. No, it was Jeremy, Judy's younger brother. Nick cringed, as he had largely avoided the rest of the Hopps family, especially after the first year or so. Too many painful memories. He was a Doctor now, but shouldn't he be back in the 'Burrow?

"Doctor Hopps?"

'Hey Nick. While I do have privileges here, I'm only semi-official. Got a special case." His look implied he meant Nick.

"Oh dear. I hope it's not about what happened." Nick wasn't going to get angry, but instead he felt a rising dread. It seemed that the sight of any rabbit or hare would remind him too much of all that had come before, and it could still hurt. 

"Less about that, but if you want or need to talk about that... No, it's more about what are you going to do next?"

"Well, I had never really made any retirement plans, never thought I'd last that long, even without any impulsive moves."

"The ZPD isn't that hazardous."

"I never felt any kind of lucky since... Or maybe I subconsciously knew I might go that way." 

"Yeah." 

"So, are we going to dance around what you have in mind, what's the farm news, how are the folks, or can we get to it?"

"Okay. We want you to come home with us."

Nick recoiled in shock, and then was stock still, mouth agape.

"Nick, while we understand why you've avoided us for so long, we still regard you as family and morn that you have kept yourself in isolation." 

Nick wasn't going to get angry. Despite everything, those silly rabbits were still as close to family as he had left. Finally, "You Bunnies, so emotional."

"Yeah. But I am serious."

"And what would you have me do? Be the resident fluff for the kits?"

"As a matter of fact..." 

"What? Are you crazy?" Nick's anger flared. 

"Nick, are you that traumatized? Does it really hurt that much?" Jeremy gave him a critical look.

Nick looked away, fuming. After a moment, "I don't want to face them." Then, after a long moment's consideration and more plaintively, "I guess, it's more out of guilt anymore." A sigh. "Having avoided them early out of pain, now it's all those years of neglect." 

"Don't let Mom hear anything like that. She'd give such an ear pull and scolding for that kind of silliness." 

Nick cracked a wane smile at that. "And where is the Hopps Matriarch? I was dreading that she might show up."

"Old enough now to take my advice about travel. She and Dad are getting on and are Finally easing off from all the warren's business." Seeing Nick's concern at that news, he explained. "They're not all that enfeebled actually. But I was the one who got the call from your Chief, and she filled me in on a few things. So thought it better that they don't try to rush over."

"Thanks for that, especially right after. Still a bit disappointed with the outcome at that moment."

"So I heard." Jeremy poked at Nick's E-chart. "Looks like you'll be here for a while still. Then a lot of physical therapy, the shot messed up your musculature pretty good. You'll be in a back brace for a while." He gave Nick a smile. "But that can be done as an out-patient anywhere, and Tri-Burrows General has a Doctor who already has your history."

"That assumes I go along with your mad plan." 

"Got any better offers? Besides being the Great Fluff again, you'll have a warren full of Bunnies eager to take care of your recovery. While there have been a few other preds come through in the years since, you are still the first and favorite."

Nick made a dismissive exhale at that. 

"However, along with your basic recovery needed to get you up and out of that bed, we'll need to wean you off your pain meds."

"They're not addictive."

"Not physically. But you've been maxing your doses. Keeping yourself knocked out, I'd guess?"

Nick only grumbled.

"Uhuh. Habitual use can be just as bad. I can understand boredom, or avoiding hard subjects. But like I said, we want you back, and I'd hope that would give you something to think about in a positive way."

Seeing Nick's non-verbal non-answer, Jeremy continued. "Or I can arrange a portable fluffle to menace you here." 

Nick had to crack a smile at that, then his face again pinched back into a sad frown. 

"Or you can indulge in your self-inflicted misery." Jeremy shrugged and made ready to leave.

"Oh. And if you really want to off yourself anytime soon, here." And Jeremy tossed a small bottle over. "Acetaminophen. With your generally delicate condition, especially with the damaged liver, wouldn't take much of an overdose to finish the job. Not super quick, but if you do it here, they can provide some level of palliative care before you kick it."

"Cheese! You have some bedside manner, Doctor Hopps." And Nick offered a genuine smile. 

Jeremy scoffed, "Foxes, so emotional!" And was gone.

Nick shook his head as he considered the bottle for a moment, and then tossed it into a wastebasket. "Three points, and the crowd goes wild for Wilde." 

He laid back and considered his new options with just a hint of a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Pain. Even after some weeks, Nick Wilde's life still focused around pain. The damage to his torso's musculature was substantial; including that along his spine, so even sitting upright could be agonizing if he wasn't careful. Not as bad as it had been earlier, and the application of heavy medication had kept him oblivious through the worst of it.

The other pain, of a hollow life without his mate ten years on, and the turmoil of emotions of a failed suicide where another matter. 

Now he was weaning himself off the meds, as they had become more a drugged refuge from his wider predicament than a palliative to his physical discomfort. The prospect of some kind of future had given him some little hope, but in the meantime he still hurt.

He ever so carefully leaned back into his powered wheelchair, enjoying the soft cacophony of the various mammals in the hospital cafeteria. That he missed the racket of others was a bit of a surprise. He had prided himself on his social independence heretofore, but had to admit that, other than his brief times off shift, he was constantly surrounded by the population of the city. The enforced isolation of his hospital room had made that all too obvious.

As well as the soothing sounds of life around him, he could interact with others. He still enjoyed some small celebrity as half the Wilde/Hopps Saviors of the City as well as his new heroics, but it was his indefatigable charm that brought smiles to most anyone he met. 

"You done with that, sir?" The bus beast, a young wallaby asked. 

Nick stirred from his reverie to respond. "Oh? Oh. Here you go." And he deftly stacked his plates and cup and gave the table a quick wipe before surrendering the collection. Seeing the puzzled expression on the fellow, he explained. "Known too many others who do this kind of thing to make it any more difficult for you." 

"Thank you, sir." The Joey smiled and nodded to the elder fox.

Nick was of two minds about the youngster's reactions. The Joey clearly didn't recognize him, not a surprise in that Nick's most famous period was likely when he was still in-pouch. All glory is fleeting and all that. On the other paw, some anonymous courtesy never hurt.

Chief Kamatti's words still made his teeth grind though. Suggesting he was anything but the bitter, cynical old dog that he was. And that fool of a Hopps, suggesting he spend his waining years in the 'Burrows. 

Thinking of which, Doctor Jeremy was threatening to come and visit today. Meeting here meant there'd be witnesses to anything that happened. That was a joke of course, but one he couldn't help but think. 

And where was he? Jeremy, like all Hopps, took pride in their punctuality. 

As he thought it, he caught sight of that tall Rabbit, Jeremy was unusually tall for a Hopps Bunny, and combined with the heavier set like his parents, made him look even larger. Judy had been taller than average herself, doubly so with her atypical ears, but always maintained a leaner athletic build. 

Jeremy caught sight of him and waved, and in that Nick could see he'd brought some other bunnies with him. Who caught his eye was the dark Doe at his side. He'd heard that Jeremy had finally found a mate now rather late in life, and as Nick was aware of his early conflicted early love life, was happy for him in that. 

What he was not expecting were the two little bunnies trailing behind them. Apparently just toddlers, twin little Does, favoring their Mother's color if he guessed right. 

"And this is all the fluffle you threatened me with?" Nick announced in stern disappointment.

"Would you really want to face the entire cohort in your current condition?" Jeremy countered, pointing at Nick's chair.

At that, Nick recoiled in mock dread. "You've got me there." Recovering, he regarded the unfamiliar family before him. "And who are these dark beauties?" Nodding to the three Does. "Certainly no one that would have anything to do with the likes of you." 

"You'd think." Jeremy laughed. "But there is no accounting for taste, so Angela married me. Angela, my wayward brother-in-law Nicholas Wilde."

The Dark Doe gave the old Todd a critical look and a smirk, "Kind of scruffy to be the much vaunted 'Fluffy One', don't you think?" Oh, she was a sharp one and Nick liked her in an instant. 

"Well, that was back in his prime, before he became such an old frost-muzzle." Jeremy explained. 

Nick theatrically blinked and went slack-jawed in shock. Then, "What would your Mother say about you disrespecting your elders like that?"

"I suspect she'd let that pass, considering what she threatened when she can finally get her paws on you." 

Nick had a flicker of real dread at that, though out of guilt, for his neglect of the dear old Doe. Then, focused on the two little ones, definitely twins, in matching outfits. They had been watching the interplay of the gown-ups in curious attention, and now returned his gaze in obvious delight.

Jeremy knelt down to face to face with them, "Girls, this is you Uncle Nick, the Fox I've been telling you about. And like I told you, while he loves little bunnies, right now he is a bit hurt, so you can't get up and fluffle him for now." He turned to Nick for confirmation, who had to sadly nod and shrug at that. 

Standing back up and ushering them forward, Jeremy then presented the two. "My daughters," And he caught himself, giving Nick a little apologetic cringe, "Nichole and Judith."

Nick was surprised that it didn't hurt to hear those names. Instead his face lit up in real joy. "Nikki and Judy?" 

The two little ones beamed at the recognition and their parents subtlely relaxed a bit seeing his positive reaction. 

Nick considered a moment, then, "Tell you what. If you two are very gentle with me, I've love to have you up in my lap for just a little fluffle." And he glanced at the parents for confirmation.

The Twins looked up to their parents as well in unspoken pleading. 

"Aright, but you have to promise you won't gobble them up." Angela warned. 

"Normally, that would be a prudent demand," And Nick wiggled his brows,  
"But at the moment, I'd be more worried about them nibbling on me or breaking something." 

Jeremy lifted up one of the kits, "Here's little Nichole," He then paused and gave her a closer look, "Or is it Judith?" 

"Da! No!" The little one squirmed.

"You are the most awful Father!' Angela huffed as she picked up the other one, only to give her a little once over too. "Or, uhm... Here!" And she thrust her Daughter towards Nick, though very carefully set her on his lap. 

The Kit in turn gazed up at the old fox and proudly announced, "I Judit!"

Nick glanced over to the other and motioned her over. "And you must be Jabberwocky!"

As Jeremy set her down besides her sister, she huffed, "I Nikle!"

"Of course you are." And Nick pulled them close, trying to not show any discomfort. Seeing both parents noticing his reaction, he explained. "Got to take the bitter with the sweet." He then nuzzled the two who giggled and cooed at the attention. 

In that, all the memories of his time back at the 'Burrow, being the "Fluffly One" to Judy's kin and the genuine love he felt from the collected bunnies came back to him. The Judy parts still stung, but not so much as to avoid the recall. 

Nick looked back to Jeremy and Angela and the three shared a bit of shared joy. 

Finally, Nick relented. "Okay Doctor Bunny. I can see coming home could be a real thing." The use of the word 'home' was not lost to all of them, and there was a more teary eyed shared expression between them. Nick had to, of course, spoil the mood. "But you realize you'll be stuck with this stinky old Todd. Especially as normal bathing will be a bit problematical for a good while."

Angela gave Nick a rather predatory look. "I wouldn't count on that, as I suspect there would be any number of Bunnies who'd be very interested in keeping you clean and particularly well groomed." 

Nick looked to the Husband in shock. "Cheese, Jeremy! What has the warren come to?"

For his part, Jeremy could only shrug and hold out his paws in helpless supplication. "When has anyone been able to keep a pack of determined Does in line?" 

Nick knew that the threat was not nearly as sordid than it sounded, and moreover, found himself actually looking forward to the prospect of getting an attentive groom from a loving family. He gave the kits another nuzzle then leaned back to enjoy the moment.

A part of him did flicker back to that fateful day, and how terribly different the outcome could have been, not only for him but everyone else. He honestly hadn't considered that anyone cared back in the 'Burrow, that he was simply old business best forgotten. 

"I'm so sorry." He finally said. "And thank you." 

Jeremy simply cocked his head in a half shrug. "Hey, it's what we do for family." But Nick could tell that he knew what he was thinking and was all the more grateful for it. "And thinking about that, any requests for you bedroom decor? Mom was threatening a soft desert peach." 

Nick had to make a face, then thought. "How about a nice light warm grey."


End file.
